Autumn Soul Care: Choosing Grace Over Perfection and Presence instead of Overbooked
- Hannah
- Oct 27
- 6 min read
Choosing substance over form: finding presence in a distracted season
Fall is a beautiful paradox—everything bursts into color just before it lets go. Bright reds, oranges, and golds flame out before the quiet stillness of winter. It’s my favorite time of year—the chill in the air, the bonfires, the plaid, the cozy scents of baking and pumpkin.
But beyond the beauty, fall invites something deeper. The shift from summer to autumn mirrors a subtle psychological and spiritual transition—a movement from outward energy to inward reflection. Summer’s long days fuel expansion and spontaneity; autumn calls us to slow down, let go, and prepare for renewal.
Psychologists note that these seasonal changes often awaken nostalgia, introspection, and even quiet grief. It’s the body’s way of re-calibrating—of syncing with the natural rhythm of release before the rest of winter .
The Ground We’ll Cover
In this post, we’ll explore:
The sacred rhythm of seasons and why your pace matters
How to replace perfection and performance with peace and purpose
Practical ways to rest, realign, and rediscover substance this season
Life is Seasonal - Not Linear
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” — Ecclesiastes 3:1
Every harvest—every success, milestone, or breakthrough—requires both living and letting go. Life unfolds in seasons, and each one carries a purpose. We love growth, but growth requires pruning. We long for fruit, yet forget that trees rest, too.
We are not machines—we are more like trees. We can’t run 24/7. We need nutrients, grounding, and stillness to grow deep roots.
As Dr. Joy Clarkson writes, “Trees do not bear fruit all the time; they bear it in season.” When we expect ourselves to constantly produce, perform, or be “on,” we treat ourselves like machines—valuable only for what we do. But we were never created to live like that.
Grace invites us to live like trees—rooted, resilient, and resting in rhythm.
Grace & Gentleness in the In-Between
Melody Beattie reminds us that transformation requires a cocoon. If you’ve been more tired, withdrawn, or reflective lately, that’s okay. You’re not lazy—you’re listening.
This season, give yourself permission to rest, to say no, and to listen to your body’s quiet cues. You may need more solitude, less socializing, more space to breathe and grieve what’s shifting.
Be gentle. Growth often hides beneath stillness.
Substance Over Form
As a recovering perfectionist, I’ve spent years chasing form—making sure everything looked right from the outside. The right outfit, the perfect meal, the spotless house.
But as Melody Beattie writes, “Form gives us a place to begin. But it is not a substitute for substance.”
Form is surface-level; substance takes heart work. Substance asks us to be vulnerable, grounded, and authentic. It’s found not in a flawless holiday, but in the moments of real connection that happen between the noise.
You don’t need to host the perfect dinner or attend every party. Maybe this year, peace looks like a quiet night at home with your family. Choose that.
Rest so You Don't Miss the Moment
The story of Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38–42) reminds us how easy it is to serve God while missing His presence. Martha wasn’t wrong for wanting things to be right—she was distracted by the doing.
Steven Furtick’s message “A Recipe for Resentment” captures it perfectly: Martha was resourceful, responsible, and respectful—but she was running on empty. The only difference between Mary and Martha was that Mary paused to fill her cup.
The question isn’t whether you’re doing enough—it’s whether you’re present. Are you distracted, or are you receiving the substance of the season?
Rewrite Your To-Do list for Presence
This season, let’s replace urgency with intention. Let’s trade exhaustion for alignment. And let’s let go of the myth that we can do it all without losing something sacred in the process.
Practical Shifts for a Slower Season
Set your priorities based on your core values
Set boundaries that protect your peace
Delegate instead of carrying it all alone
Categorize what really matters - critical, nice to have, and maybe
Let go and flow
1. Set Your Priorities Based on Your Core Values
Identify the 2–3 values that matter most. Is it family connection? Peace? Health? Let those lead, and release the rest.
Author Hank Green suggests narrowing your focus to your Top Three Priorities—what truly matters most to you. It’s one of the simplest ways to cut through comparison and reclaim peace.
The world tells us to have it all together—to be fit, successful, stylish, organized, social, and spiritual all at once. But that’s not realistic or sustainable. Each person’s priorities tell a different story.
Maybe your friend’s top value is fitness—so she meal-preps, tracks macros, and spends hours at the gym. Yours might be family connection—so your energy goes into shared meals and bedtime stories. Both are good. They’re just different.
When you name what matters most, you stop measuring yourself by someone else’s mile markers. You begin living your season, not theirs.
2. Set Boundaries That Protect Your Peace
You don’t need to say yes to every event, dish, or invitation. Protect your peace and energy.
Where do you need to say no this season? You don’t have to bring cookies to every event, attend every party, or volunteer for every cause. Sometimes saying no is the holiest form of self-care.
Look at what actually aligns with your values—and release the rest. Peace often comes not from adding more, but from subtracting what’s unnecessary.
If you’ve ever watched Christmas with the Kranks, you know the beauty of this. They skipped the chaos one year—and even though it caused a stir, it revealed what truly mattered: community, not performance. You don’t need more stuff, or more doing. You need more space to breathe.
3. Delegate Instead of Carrying It All Alone
Let others help. Caregiving allows others to grow; caretaking takes away their agency.
To my fellow control-lovers: I see you. I’ve been you. It’s hard to let go because we want things done right—or we feel guilty making someone else do the work.
But here’s the truth: when we do everything ourselves, we rob others of the chance to contribute, grow, and care. Melody Beattie reminds us that caretaking takes things away from people—while caregiving gives them agency and dignity.
People often want to help; they just need to be invited in. Let your partner cook the side dish. Let your kids decorate the cookies. Let your team handle a task their way. It might not be perfect—but it might be exactly what someone else needs to grow.
4. Categorize What Really Matters
Label your list “Essential,” “Nice to Have,” and “Maybe.” Focus on what truly aligns.
Try labeling your to-do list into three sections:
Essential: Must happen.
Nice to Have: Would be great if there’s time.
Maybe: Optional—don’t hinge your peace on it.
This small shift releases the pressure to do it all. You can finish what truly matters without the guilt of unfinished extras.
Maybe you’ll get to those handmade Christmas tags—or maybe store-bought ones will do just fine. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s presence.
5. Let Go and Flow
No plan survives first contact. Life rarely goes as scripted—and that’s okay.
In my military days, we learned to adapt on the fly, but for years I didn’t extend that same grace to my personal life. One small change could unravel my entire day. I’d spiral into frustration, chasing control.
Now, I practice letting go. Some days unfold perfectly; others fall apart. Either way, I try to move with the current, not against it.
Let go of the pressure, the perfection, the urgency—and notice what remains: space, breath, and the stillness to see what truly matters most.
Presence is the Point of the Season
As we move through this season, may you choose presence over perfection. May you slow down long enough to feel the warmth, taste the moment, and rest in the beauty of impermanence.
You are not behind. You are becoming. And this—right now—is holy ground.
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💛 Hannah
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