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What is Self-Care?

Self-care isn’t indulgence—it’s a daily practice of tending to your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. It’s learning to listen inward, honor your needs, and show up for yourself with the same compassion you’d offer someone you love. This page explores what self-care truly means and offers practical ways to begin—even if you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure where to start.

 

Here’s what you’ll find:

  •  A clear definition of self-care—and what it’s not

  • The five foundational pillars of holistic self-care

  •  Gentle, beginner-friendly practices to build your routine

  • My personal favorite tools and rituals for nervous system support

  • Tips for integrating self-care into busy schedules

  •  Faith-based reflections and healing prompts to deepen your practice

 

Whether you're searching for “simple self-care ideas” or “how to create a sustainable self-care routine,” this guide is designed to help you reconnect with yourself—one small, intentional step at a time.

​"How do we love ourselves? By forcing it at first. By faking it if necessary. By acting 'as if'. By working hard at loving and liking ourselves as we have at not liking ourselves."

​Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go

Coffee is one of my small self-care items. I love making a cup and sitting on my patio to enjoy it. Even a old, bitter cup watching the Afghanistan sunrise was a treat. The beans make me think of their process to become a special treat for billions of people. Heat. Breaking. Flavor.
Iced Coffee

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What it is...

Prioritizing yourself

Valuing yourself

Nurturing yourself

Self-discipline

Self-responsibility

Boundaries

Self-compassion

Authentic & honest

Gentleness

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What it is NOT

Self-indulgence

Overspending

Binge eating

Instant Gratification

Numbing/Disassociating

Substance Abuse

Self-neglect

Perfection

Comparing

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What it includes:

Physical

Mental/Emotional

Spiritual 

Social

Hygiene (general & personal)

Environmental

Seeking Help

Healing, learning, & growing

One healthy choice at a time

Pillars of Self-Care

Carry This Season With Intention

Just as every season asks something different from us, your inner life asks the same. Download free guides that will help you meet every part of yourself with compassion and offer gentle shifts to help you let go in whatever season you are in.

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A tactical guide for inner peace and healing

Your first step to lasting inner peace and self‑leadership — receive my free Internal Family Systems guide to unlock the strength, trust, clarity, and confidence already within you.

 

START NOW
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Small Shifts for After the Inner Work is Done

The 5 Powerful Ways to Break Free from Old Mindsets workbook helps you identify what’s keeping you stuck and guides you through simple, transformative shifts that actually last.

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I'M READY
Image by Niklas Hamann

The Reads That Changed Me

Books that cracked me open and stitched me back together—one truth at a time.

Resource Links Notice

Some links on this site lead to third-party websites that offer books, tools, or therapeutic insights. These are shared for informational purposes only. I am not affiliated with these sites and do not receive compensation for purchases. Please explore them at your discretion, and consult professionals as needed for personalized guidance. See Disclaimer, Privacy and Terms & Conditions.

​“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Romans 12:2

Mental | The Cornerstone

The mind is the cornerstone of self-care. Old coping habits, negative thought patterns, stress, and anxiety keep us stuck and influence all areas of our lives. By nurturing your mental well-being through challenging and changing old thought patterns, we create a foundation for transformation.

Image by Cate Bligh

Change your self-talk 

Affirmations

Change begins when we challenge lies and make the choice to sow truth instead. By replacing harmful messages with empowering truths, we create a place for growth, deep change, and self-compassion.​

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Tips & Tools:

  • See them: sticky notes in common places

  • Apps: I Am or Mantra

  • Say them: out loud to yourself & friends

  • Think them: create new patterns this way

Image by Mariyam Khan

Observe without judgment

Meditation

Meditation isn't about eliminating thoughts—it's about learning to observe them without judgment, choosing which ones to engage with, and letting go of what no longer serves you.

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Tips & Tools:

  • Insight Timer: 130K meditations to filter through

  • Calm: the #1 rated meditation app

  • Notice: just observe thoughts - no reaction

  • Journal: get your thoughts out and let go

Image by Jon Tyson

Open the aperture

Gratitude

When we are in survival mode, our mind has limited focus on the threat and survival outcomes. Gratitude is like light in the dark. It gives us a clearer picture of everything that is going on around us. It puts the pain into perspective. 

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Tips & Tools:

​“If we place our hope and future in the hands of our unchanging, unflinching God who never leaves us or forsakes us, we'll find healing and freedom.”

Lysa TerKeurst

Spiritual | The Lifeblood

"You are not a human being having a spiritual experience. You are a spiritual being having a human experience." — Pierre Teilhard de Chardin. God knew and loved us before we were formed, and that truth grounds us in healing. When we neglect spiritual care, we feel disconnected and adrift, but practices like prayer, time in nature, or connection with a higher power restore balance. Spiritual connection is the foundation of self-care and the key to lasting wholeness.

Image by Kelly Sikkema

Pursue a deeper connection

Spirituality

This is a deeply personal practice that requires asking deeper questions and developing a relationship with a Higher Power. Gem and Alan Fadling in their book "What Does Your Soul Love" point out three elements needed to develop a spiritual connection and truly transform.

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Elements for Spiritual Transformation:

  • Open: Are you truly open to receiving what life brings to you during your self-care process?

  • Aware: Are you self-aware (including your strengths)? Are you noticing what is going on around you?​​​

  • Willing: Are you willing to do the necessary hard work to change mindsets, habits, and make choices that are healthy for you, but might be difficult?​​​

Image by Smolinschi Dennis

Connect with the natural

Nature & Art

Spiritual healing begins by reconnecting with God through nature, creativity, and song. Time outdoors restores balance with fresh air, sunlight, and beauty, while art opens space for self-expression and deeper connection. Music becomes a spiritual practice that calms, heals, and often delivers the message our hearts most need.

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Tips & Tools:

  • Spend time outside: even if its just standing in the grass or having tea on the patio

  • Be creative: the options are endless and unique!

  • Listen to music: find music that speaks to you and you can feel. 

  • Read about a healing music + art therapy here

Image by Tina Kempka

A healing connection

Prayer

Prayer is one of the most powerful ways to connect with God, offering peace, clarity, and strength on the journey of healing. Even a few quiet moments of prayer can calm the nervous system, ease stress, and open space to hear God’s guidance. With consistency, prayer becomes not only a spiritual practice but a lifeline that steadies the soul.

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Tips & Tools:

​"Unexpressed emotions will never die, they are buried alive and will come forth in uglier ways."

​Sigmond Frued

Emotional | The Essense

When emotional well-being is neglected, life loses depth and vibrancy. Stress, self-doubt, and unresolved emotions cloud judgment, weaken resilience, and strain relationships. Over time, this disconnection can lead to burnout, isolation, and even physical symptoms—because emotions, when ignored, don’t disappear, they manifest in different ways. Feeling them lets you move forward.

Image by Giulia Bertelli

Feelings are temporary visitors

Permission to Feel

When we stop resisting emotions and simply allow them to pass through, we free ourselves from unnecessary struggle. Instead of fighting sadness or frustration, we acknowledge them with compassion, knowing they will fade.

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Tips & Tools:

  • Name:  Simply state "I am feeling ________"

  • Observe: No judgement, just curiosity. Learn more about finding healng in the 'why' here

  • Feel: Emotions are chemical reactions in the body - notice the sensation and use tools for grounding (breath-work, tapping, etc.)

Three dandelions blowing in the wind at

Let it out - don't store it

Process Your Feeling

Once you've recognized the emotion, let it move through you. Processing isn’t about forcing the emotion away—it’s about allowing it to complete its cycle so it doesn’t linger unprocessed. Remind yourself that emotions are temporary, 

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Tips & Tools:

  • Journal: Don't hold back. let it all out (you can burn it later) 

  • Outlet: Talking it out, exercise, create, scream, cry, throw a pillow - let it out

  • Let it Go: Once you understand the why and have let it move through you - let it go

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Sometimes you need to, sometimes you don't

Take Necessary Action

Action doesn’t mean rushing to fix everything; it’s about responding mindfully. Whether through journaling, movement, or a small step toward change, responding appropriately empowers and protects you.

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Tips & Tools:

  • Boundaries: For protection & self-worth. Check out Lysa Terkeurst's book "Good Boundaries and Goodbyes" - I needed help setting them

  • Accountability: Correct actions that heals wrongs. Read John Lee's "Growing Yourself Back Up for healthy ways to do this

  • Compassion: No one is perfect- forgive, but make sure behavior changes

​"The body isn't betraying you. It is asking for help."

Mikaela Deats, Nutritonal Scientist

Physical | The Foundation

The body is the foundation—the structure that carries us through every experience, shaping how we interact with the world. It is the vessel that holds our strength, endurance, and vitality, influencing both our physical and emotional resilience. Just as the mind guides our thoughts and the spirit fuels our purpose, the body supports us in action, movement, and presence.

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The body stores trauma - help it release it

The Body Keeps Score

In 'The Body Keeps Score', Bessel van der Kolk says, "For real change to take place, the body needs to learn that the danger has passed and to live in the reality of the present.” Living in survival mode (chronic stress) so long over produces cortisol overtime this natural chemical disrupts your body's ability to function in a healthy manner. Finding ways to natural reset systems in your body is a key element in self-care. 

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Tips & Tools:

Image by Farsai Chaikulngamdee

Balance between working out & resting

Movement + Recovery

Movement and recovery are the foundation of physical health. Regular exercise builds strength, flexibility, and energy, while recovery practices—like stretching, massage, dry needling, foam rolling, and sauna—support mobility, circulation, and nervous system regulation. Together, they reduce pain, prevent injury, and create lasting resilience, helping your body stay strong, balanced, and ready for life.

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Tips & Tools:

  • Yoga: Intentional movement creates calm 

  • Apps: Downdog for at home yoga or MindBody to find places to practice

  • At home items:  to promote healing are a foam roller, Theragun, heating pad, and Tenz unit.

  • Rest & Sleep: this is not laziness - it is much needed time for your body to heal. A weighted blanket or noise machine can help with rest.  

Image by Katherine Hanlon

Recovery/Bodywork for healing & pain relief

Complementary Therapies

Holistic therapies like craniosacral therapy, dry needling, and massage sessions provide powerful support for recovery and whole-body wellness. These practices reduce pain, improve circulation, release tension, and restore mobility—helping you heal faster, prevent injury, and strengthen resilience. Whether you’re working through trauma, stress, or physical strain, integrative bodywork offers the extra care your body needs to stay balanced and strong.

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Tips & Tools:

  • Craniosacral: A gentle, hands-on technique that works with the skull, spine, and sacrum.

  • Dry Needling: Quickly eases knots and promotes healthy bloodflow

  • Massage: Promotes relaxation, deep tissue healing and detoxification

  • Physical therapy: focused ways to strengthen

​"Finding the right community is like discovering a place where your soul can breathe, a space filled with warmth, support, and quiet strength that lifts you higher each day."

Samii Wilson

Social | The Heartbeat

We were never meant to go through life alone. One of our greatest enemies in this world is isolation. Community plays a vital role in healing by creating spaces for connection, support, and shared purpose. Community fosters accountability and compassion, reminding us that life is a shared experience of learning, growth, and connection with the world around us. 

Image by Joel Muniz

Support for Recovery & Renewal

Retreats & Programs

Retreats and structured programs offer more than rest—they cultivate belonging, resilience, and purpose. Through shared experiences in professional, cause-driven settings, participants build lasting support systems rooted in trust and transformation. Whether faith-based, trauma-informed, or veteran-focused, these gatherings can spark lifelong friendships and deep healing. 

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Tips & Tools:

Image by Becca Tapert

Find local communities & connection

Find Connection Near You

Local groups and church communities offer powerful ways to build connection—whether you're seeking friendship, healing, or shared purpose. From walking clubs and coffee meetups to parenting circles, game nights, and 12-step groups, these gatherings foster trust and belonging. Many churches also host small groups and outreach events that welcome newcomers.

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Tips & Tools:

  • Meetup.com: Find interest-based groups by location and theme

  • FaithStreet.com: Discover churches and spiritual communities across the U.S.

  • Local Community Sites:  Libraries, community centers, colleges and coffee shops advertise

  • Volunteer: Idealist.org find volunteer opportunities in your local area 

  • 12-Step Groups: The Recovery Book 
     

Image by Brooke Cagle

Flood your feed with inspiration & belonging

Online Communities

Holistic therapies like craniosacral therapy, dry needling, and massage sessions provide powerful support for recovery and whole-body wellness. These practices reduce pain, improve circulation, release tension, and restore mobility—helping you heal faster, prevent injury, and strengthen resilience. Whether you’re working through trauma, stress, or physical strain, integrative bodywork offers the extra care your body needs to stay balanced and strong.

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My favorites:

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