What Does it Take to Have True Happiness?
- Hannah
- Nov 3, 2025
- 4 min read
Rethinking Happiness, Health, and Success in a Season That Demands Too Much
As the year draws to a close, most of us shift into overdrive. We rush from Thanksgiving to Christmas to New Year’s—moving from gratitude to giving to goal-setting, often without a breath in between.
It’s supposed to be the “most wonderful time of the year,” but instead, it often becomes the most hurried. We plan, we strive, we give, and we push—chasing happiness through productivity, possessions, or promises to “do better next year.”
But what if we’re chasing the wrong things?
The Harvard Study of Adult Development—the longest-running study on happiness in the world—has spent over 80 years tracking what makes life fulfilling. The findings are stunning in their simplicity: A good life isn’t built on achievement, status, or wealth. It’s built on connection.
Connection to others.
Connection to ourselves.
Connection to something greater than us.
The Ground We’ll Cover
In this post, we’ll explore:
What the longest-running study on happiness teaches us about a truly good life.
The three lessons that define long-term happiness and health.
Why it’s so hard to live by those truths in our fast-paced world.
And how you can slow down this season to reconnect with what really matters—substance over form, presence over performance, and faith over fear.
The Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness
Psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, who now leads the study, often says:
“Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.”
After following hundreds of people from adolescence through old age, the study found that the quality of our relationships is the most powerful predictor of both happiness and health. Not success. Not intelligence. Not even genetics.
Here are the three biggest takeaways:
Relationships protect our bodies and our minds. People who are more connected to family, friends, and community live longer and stay mentally sharper than those who are isolated.
It’s the quality, not the quantity, that matters. It’s not about having a crowd—it’s about having a few people you can really count on when life gets hard.
Good relationships don’t just happen; they take work. Repairing after conflict, staying curious, and showing up when it’s inconvenient—these are the quiet, consistent actions that build the foundation of a good life.
And yet… if it’s that simple, why is it so hard?
Why It’s So Hard to Build a “Good Life”
Because our world rewards the fast fix.
We’ve built an entire culture on instant gratification—fast results, faster communication, and the illusion of control through constant doing. We want connection, but we scroll instead of reaching out. We want peace, but we fill every quiet moment. We want depth, but we keep choosing the comfort of distraction over the discomfort of growth.
The truth is: The things that make life meaningful rarely come quickly. Deep relationships, real healing, lasting peace—these take time, vulnerability, and a willingness to stay when it would be easier to run.
That’s why so many people hit the end of the year feeling burned out, disconnected, or “off.” Because somewhere along the way, we traded the substance of life for the form of it.
This Season: Choose True Happiness and Health
Nature slows down this time of year for a reason. It’s the season of rest, of roots deepening underground. And yet we rush—shopping, traveling, planning—believing we can’t afford to slow down.
But maybe the truest act of health this season isn’t doing more. It’s doing less—with intention.
Here are a few gentle ways to shift your focus back toward what makes a good life:
Rewrite your to-do list. Replace “impress” with “connect.” Replace “perform” with “presence.” Replace “achieve” with “align.”
Make space for the slow conversations. Call someone you miss. Ask questions that matter. Listen to understand, not to respond.
Build rhythms of rest into your week. Schedule peace like you would a meeting. Your nervous system—and your soul—will thank you.
Reconnect with your faith. Whether through prayer, nature, or quiet reflection—let yourself remember that your worth isn’t earned. It’s already yours.
The Good Life Isn’t Found in the Next Goal
The “good life” isn’t a place we arrive at once we’ve worked hard enough. It’s something we build—moment by moment—by choosing what truly matters.
This season, may you slow down long enough to feel the goodness that’s already here. May you choose presence over performance. Substance over form. Connection over control.
Because the real good life? It’s not somewhere out there waiting to be achieved. It’s the one you’re living—when you finally let yourself be here for it.
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💛 Hannah
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