Inside Your Command Center: A Field Guide to Internal Family Systems

From battlefield to soulfield—explore how IFS maps your inner team

Inside the Hive: A Military Memory

I walked from blinding light into the dark hive. You could hear and feel the buzzing energy. As my eyes adjusted I could start to see the people focused on their computers furiously working away. The theater seating accommodated desks upon desks of people. Screens the size of cars filled a wall with news and special feeds. The people who filled this place were the experts in all areas necessary for military operations - leadership, administration, logistics, communications, managers, all aspects of intelligence, and many more. Each person doing their part, eager for success. I took my seat at my desk, squished in between colleagues, took a sip of coffee and smiled at my boss and got to work. Welcome to the team. 

What team would you want to be on?

Have you ever been a part of one of those teams that just made you want to go to work? People genuinely cared, everyone worked towards the goal, they gave their unique skills to the team, and shared in hopes of increasing success? I have and you can’t beat it. It was like when you take a bunch of rag-tag kids each with their unique quirk, lead by an unexpected leader and everything turns out hunky-dory in the end. 

I have also experienced the complete opposite - leaderless, toxic, no one trusts each other, doing their own thing in secrecy, and going their own direction. It’s chaotic at its best and toxic at its worst. It is the team the rag-tags end up beating in the end because they don’t understand connection, empowerment, leadership, and valuing each person and their unique skills.

It’s not hard to choose what team you would rather be on.

What is a “Team of Teams”?

Over my military career I have worked in many different teams. The traditional structure meant rigid structures of command, with centralized control (you had to go to the top for any decision), it was tightly controlled. Information was ‘stove-piped’ meaning it was kept within the channels it was created and not openly shared. Coordination and collaboration were just words in a dictionary at this point, not a living culture. This resulted in slow and ill-informed mission planning and created the potential for failure - and not the fixable kind.

In stepped Army General Stanley McChrystal (retired) with Team of Teams (it is one of my favorite constructs to help form teams). General McChrystal tore down walls, delegated decision-making authority, opened up communication, and brought to life collaboration and coordination. These teams consist of experts sitting feet away from each other, sharing their expertise to drive the team towards the common objective. They may be one of many teams - some bigger and closer to home and some smaller and in the field. But each individual, each team is doing their part. They are doing what they think is best in their role and the information they have.

📚Add to my book pile!  “Team of Teams”

What if I told you, you have a “Team of Teams” inside you?

Ready to meet your inner team? I created a free IFS: Lead Your Inner Team guide to walk you through identifying, engaging, and leading your parts using the IFS model. Think of it as your personal field guide to healing.

I walked into a very different type of team several years later- my trauma therapist and me. Just the two of us. Things had fallen apart at a new duty station, as hard as I tried I couldn’t find (or in my case) make a team that I had thrived in for so long. 

"Of course it was all my fault, I couldn’t do anything right. Maybe I wasn't as good as my evaluations had said. I was an imposter. I failed because I am bad at my job. I am not enough. Never enough. No, I tried everything I could, it’s not my fault. Don’t you dare blame anyone else you’re such a stupid…" and things got worse (read about meeting my inner critic here). These thoughts fought, spiraled, and crashed into each other. I would be beside myself one moment, ready to fight and keep going the next, and then completely numb. How did I have all this stuff going on in me and have no control? Was I crazy?

My therapist asked me a simple question when I shared some of my thoughts - of course censored because I would never share how bad the things were I truly said and thought about myself. 

“Have you ever read Dr. Schwartz’ book “No Bad Parts”? Dr Schwartz’s years of experience brought

him to the model that a person - you, me, everyone - isn’t mono-minded, but made up of many different parts, a system within us. These parts have their own thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs. They play valuable roles, but trauma has managed to reassign them, control them, stovepipe information, and treat them as another cog in the wheel. Based on these roles they have allies and enemies. But…they are all still trying to do their best.

I ordered the book that afternoon and I was blown away, relieved, and started an incredible healing journey. I was NOT crazy. I was like everyone else. The turmoil inside me could be calmed and not with more drill sergeant or inner critic discipline - with some curiosity and love.

📚Add to my book pile!  “No Bad Parts” or “The Spirit-Led Life: A Christian Encounter with IFS”

Parts & Roles: Your Specialized Teams

I went hard-core analyst with IFS…yes, I am working on my perfectionist! I started mapping and building dossiers on the parts I discovered (read about meeting my inner critic here). “Building out the network” is the lingo we used to describe determining relationships and roles between enemy personnel, teams, or systems. Understanding their role opened up possibilities for further characterization and development. 

In IFS there are 3 roles that parts fall into Manager, Exile, and Firefighter. Each managing different functions that protect you. They just might be a little ill-informed and leaderless.

The Managers 

These are the ones that “keep it together” like the pleaser, the critic, caretaker, planner, perfectionist, and workaholic. Their role is to proactively avoid getting hurt again so they like to control, plan, prepare, and over-think. If something goes wrong, it’s their fault they didn’t try hard enough.

The Exiles 

These poor little parts are the parts that feel abandoned, worthless, traumatized, shamed, neglected, and invisible. Their role - stay exiled. They carry the burdens of trauma, pain, wound, and negative beliefs about yourself. The other parts keep them locked away so that you can’t re-experience the pain.

The Firefighters

These parts are your reaction force. If the exiles threaten to break out and cause pain they rush in with extreme, reactive, and impulsive behaviors to distract from the pain. They can be addictive, blaming, impulsive, self-harming, dissociated, and rageful.

Mapping Out the Network

A part’s one job is to protect you. Help you survive. IFS holds that every part is good and valuable - that they have been forced into extreme roles due to painful experiences. Trauma changes us - but not to the core - it builds up protective layers that just might be keeping us stuck instead of free. When these parts are freed from their burden they can take on new roles - the roles they were destined for - that benefit the entire team. 

Want help building out your own inner network? My free IFS: Lead Your Inner Team guide includes mapping templates, tactical prompts, and symbolic tools to visualize your internal team with clarity.

A simple map of our inner network - the managers, firefighters, and exiles and the relationships they have with each other.

Who is leading this mess?

You are. Inside all this chaos is the core of who you are - your spiritual essence - Self. Self is bullet-proof, it can’t be damaged or corrupted. It was designed by the creator of the universe in his image (Ephesians 4:24). 

“...and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness." 

Self leads from solid ground, not shaped by the painful experiences of the world. It leads from something deeper, sacred, and infinite. The ‘fog of war’ has disoriented the systems, written in new codes, and set up some intense security. It’s time for them to all know it's safe to go home.

Are you ready to lead your team?

You’ve been briefed. You’ve met the models. You’ve felt the stirrings of a powerful inner command center. Now it’s time to lead.

Download the free IFS – Build Your Team Guide to begin assembling your inner unit. Inside, you’ll find step-by-step guidance, tactical prompts, and compassionate strategies to help you rediscover trust, release burdens, and operate with Self-led clarity.

This isn’t just self-help—it’s system command. Healing starts here. Leadership begins within. Let’s build your team.

💜 Special Gratitude:

This blog draws inspiration from General Stanley McChrystal’s “Team of Teams” framework. Shared with gratitude to the McChrystal Group for their transformative leadership model. No affiliation intended.

This blog post is inspired by the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model developed by Dr. Richard C. Schwartz. All rights reserved to their respective owners. No affiliation intended.

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